Tuesday, March 13, 2007

The Long-Awaited December-February Newsletter

To my beloved friends and family,

Praise God for a whole new year! Today I praise God that He has kept me in Hungary. Despite hardships and feelings otherwise, I am encouraged that God is greater than our hearts and our feelings, and He can give us strength and peace whenever we ask for it! I am amazed at the ways in which God has provided and blessed me this year.

CHRISTMAS
December was a long and hard month for me. I was worn out and ready for Christmas break to see my family, and I had high hopes that my mother would come visit for two weeks and fly back with me for Christmas. However, she came down with pneumonia, and wasn’t able to make it. I also got sick, and was blessed to get tonsilitis. Why blessed? Because in my weakness and disappointment, God gave me a much needed rest. I had a chance to recooperate even before I returned to the States, so I could completely enjoy my time at home. I also learned what it means to rely on God alone for every need. I believe God was trying to show me how to depend on Him alone, and no one and nothing else for support. He gave me the ability to move forward and continue on, and showed me the necessity to complete the task that is before me. He gave me a peace and reminded me that He called me to Hungary, and regardless of whether I see the reasons for it or the fruit, whether or not it causes me pain or hardship, I must stay in His will. There is nothing more reasurringly comforting than being in God’s hands, at the center of His will.

LANGUAGE DAY
I began writing this letter in January, and at this point I started to say how much I was feeling it was time to come back to the States after this year. But since January God has been greatly changing my heart and doing some incredible things in my life and at the school that I am very excited to share with you. You may remember from last year a program at my school called Language Day, which is a performance day where each class has to perform a skit, or part of a musical, or a dance to an English song, etc. I am in charge this year of all the English classes, which is a great break from the norm. Since January we have been working on their program, which they will perform April 4th. I have the opportunity to work on something fun and creative with the students, and every day I get to spend more quality time with them, and develop a different sort of relationship. We dance and write and sing and laugh, and when they get tired of practicing, I just sit down and talk to them. They love to ask me questions about myself, and I get to hear about their lives and what they love to do for fun, what movies they watch, and music they listen to. I have begun to build an excellent rapport with my students that I have prayed to have for a long time.
For grades, they can either write essays from a list of topics I gave them, or meet me outside of school and sit and talk for 30 minutes in English. I have been overwhelmed at the response I have gotten! I have been meeting consistently with several students since I introduced the idea, and we just talk. They feel they are getting English practice, and I am building a close relationship and trust with them. This has been incredibly exciting, since I have been praying that I could hang out with students outside of school without awkwardness and build friendships and rapport since I’ve been in Hungary. After a year and a half, God is answering my prayer!

NEXT YEAR
Be careful what you pray for! I had been earnestly asking God to see the fruit of my time in Hungary, to see the purpose of the ministry and why I was here. Now He is answering! But if I had never seen, I could have easily returned home to the States without a backward glance, believing I had done everything I could. But now that God is answering my prayer and showing me fruit, He is requiring much more of me. If I have worked a year and a half to get to the point where I can be of use, why should I leave what I have worked so hard to achieve? It is becoming increasingly hard to ignore that this isn’t the end of my time in Hungary, but only the beginning of my service and ministry to my students.

A MINISTRY TRANSITION
God can put things on our hearts, and then make it seem nearly impossible to put into action. That what makes Him God, and us just clay in His hands. I am constantly having to let go of everything I plan, my hopes and dreams I keep having to lay at His feet, because nothing goes the way I want it to. It would be so simple to say to my school: “I want to come back next year,” wouldn’t it? But following God is never that simple. My school has responded like every school going through a crisis because of Hungarian government cuts in funding education: “We can’t afford to hire you back and renew your contract next year, Joanna. We can’t afford an ESI teacher at all anymore.” I have been praying earnestly at what that means. “Does that mean I’m released, God? Can I go back to the States?” Sigh, leave my kids with no one at all to follow me? No Christian presence from now on? It leaves my heart heavy. So, I am pursuing other options. All I know is that next year will be drastically different from this one if I choose to stay. My school would be quite happy to keep me as a volunteer, to lead workshops, help tutor kids after school who are behind, or provide extra instruction for gifted students. They’ve made this quite clear. They now provide my rent for my flat and utilities. In order to keep my presence at the school, to continue to meet with my students and build on my relationship with them, I will no more receive help from the school financially. It will require a huge money gap.
And this is where you come in. I am still grappling with the practicality of staying in Hungary for another year without a salary. I am discussing options with ESI, and trying to get an idea of possibilities to receive extra money. Working part-time at a different school and commuting to Vac, teaching private students in my “free” time are some options. However, I would love to have the extra time to use in whatever ways God opens up to minister to my students. I would love to raise my full support. However, the amount to raise would be twice as much as what I’ve raised before, and the amount is staggering. It would cost me about $19,200 a year, to replace the costs of my salary and to pay my own rent. I have made an analysis of all the expenses in Hungarian forints and dollars and what all that money goes toward, which I will send out in another email. This is only to say that my mind cannot possibly wrap around the fact that I can get that much money to stay, but my heart says to trust God that anything is possible!
This means that again I am encountering a stumbling block, but I want to lay it all down before the Lord and trust that if it is His will, He will provide. I am writing this to you, to ask for your prayers. If God does indeed desire me to continue working in Hungary with my students in this new way, than you can be God’s provision. I cannot do this without your help! If in your heart you feel that God does indeed want to work in the hearts of students in Vác, Hungary, than ask Him if you can be also be used to make it possible. I have been so encouraged by your support, prayers, and letters of encouragement over these two years. It has increased my faith to ask for your help and rely on others for my provision, and I have heard stories where it has also increased your faith as well to give even when it hurt. I am so thankful that I have not stepped out in faith alone, but that I have a team of generous prayer warriors who have been behind me and lifted me up when I couldn’t lift myself up. Please continue to pray that God would use you in this ministry, so we can together be a light for God and give Him glory all over the world.

Blessings and peace to you,

Joanna Fessler